Oh Joy! It's Sweeps Month Again!

“Child sex slaves in YOUR neighborhood. Help us stop this problem now! Next on Oprah.”

That’s what I heard when I turned on the television last Friday afternoon.

Now I have no way of knowing this, but I’m reasonably sure there are no child sex slaves in my neighborhood. The biggest problem here is the guy next door who constantly burns leaves and trash.

I had to wonder why Oprah was tackling such a lurid subject. And then I remembered. It’s November. Sweeps Month. Lurid brings in viewers. Celebrities bring in viewers. And if you can combine lurid with celebrities, you hit the ratings jackpot.

Singer Ricky Martin was also on the child sex trafficking show. Since I didn’t watch, I’m not sure what qualifies a pop star to speak out on child sex trafficking, other than to say he’s against it. It’s a hell of a way to promote your new CD.

The lurid stories don’t stop there. Yesterday Oprah interviewed best selling author Terri MacMillan about the details of her nasty divorce. Did you know Terri MacMillan married a man 20 years younger than herself and he turned out to be gay????? And wouldn’t you know it, he was after her money! Shocking!

On an upcoming show, mega star Leonardo Di Caprio will be expounding on global warning. It’s kind of hard to get people all hot and bothered about global warning, but maybe Leonardo’s cute enough to do the trick, and hundreds of thousands of Oprah viewers will be writing to their representatives asking them to ratify the Kyota Accords.

Oprah is not the only one caught up in Sweeps Month fever. I’m sure Dateline will feature stories of murder, incest and celebrity scandals. CSI will show some incredibly creepy crime scenario (although I’m inclined to believe they can’t possibly top the show where the murder victim got off on wearing diapers and acting like a baby) And it wouldn’t be Sweeps Month without another "powerful" episode of ER.

Hey, it beats re-runs.

And by the way, like Ricky Martin, I too am against child sex-trafficking. If you really would like to let your representative know that you are as well, click here.