Just Say No?

Abstinence is a big deal among conservatives. They're getting beaucoups de bucks to go to high schools, show some really gross slides of victims of sexually transmitted diseases, then hand out the virginity pledges.

There is no talk about birth control, or condoms. Just don't do it.

There are studies that show that kids who sign these pledges postpone their first sexual experience. But when they do have sex, it's more likely to be unprotected sex.

Now as the mother of a pre-pubescent daughter (she'll be 10 in September), this is something that I'm going to have to deal with. I've been practicing The Talk for some time now. And yes, abstinence will be heavily promoted.

But the thing is, I know that it's not going to be a one-time decision for her. She will have to keep on making that choice over and over again. It isn't going to go away.

That's the hard part. Teen-aged boys, being hot-wired for sex anyway, can be very persistent. And with sex so pervasive in this society, it's really hard to avoid it. If everyone really is doing it and the only person telling you not to is your mother, what's to stop you?

My main objective is to prevent her from having to make that decision. That means rules. She won't be left alone in the house while her parents are working and when her beau comes to call, you can bet she'll have chaperones.

Here's the one thing I want her to know about sex. It's for grown-ups. Grown-ups take responsibility for their actions. They protect themselves from unwanted pregnancy and STDs. If she's grown up enough to have sex, she has to be grown up to prevent the negative consequences.

Of course, I'm hoping that won't happen until she's at least 27. And convent schools are looking pretty good these days.